After nearly two months here in Amman, I am beginning to
finally feel that this is home. I’ve
gone through a range of emotions already as I adjust to the changes in my
lifestyle. The pace of life is simpler
here. With the exception of the traffic,
it is much slower and less time driven.
I’m learning to relax and not to expect to meet deadlines, appointments or goals as originally planned.
Everything eventually gets done, just not always on my timeline. For a control-freak like me, this is a tough
lesson. Becoming flexible and more
patient in nature and trying not to become frustrated about time delays is my goal.
As many Americans are, I am a constant doer. I rarely used to sit down and relax at home
in the states. There was always
something to be done. Reading a book or
watching a program was a guilty pleasure, a mere time filler or sleep
inducer. Now, I am finding that I have
many hours to fill because I am not working here yet, nor am I the head of
household as I was in the states. All of
the tasks related to keeping a home are not my responsibility here, so my days
are quite open ended. I read a lot now,
and I’ve admittedly been doing my fair share of watching mindless television series. For the first few weeks, I was unpacking,
getting settled and adjusting to the reality of my permanent move. Once that actually sank in, I panicked a
bit. I suddenly realized I needed
something to do…right then! I sulked, I
cried, and likely drove my husband a little bit crazy.
He made some calls trying to get some leads on volunteer work I might
do, and found a school where I could enroll in Arabic lessons. I relaxed a little, knowing plans were in the
making. After I quit focusing on all the
things I couldn’t do (such as speak Arabic, drive, etc.) I started focusing on
making a plan. I decided that I wanted
to learn a bit of Arabic before I seek a job, but would like to do some
volunteer work for a non-profit NGO or other non-profit business in the interim.
Later that week, I met with a man and his wife who are
starting up an NGO focused on youth empowerment in the community. They said they could use my help setting up
their office and potentially interacting with the youth as well once the program
builds. In mid-October I will meet with
them again to see how their business plans are progressing and when they will be ready for me
to come assist them. This will be a
part-time position to start, but will expose me to others in the community and
will slowly get me back into work mode.
As far as learning Arabic goes, my sister-in-law took me to
the Modern Language Center in Amman to inquire about class schedules and fees
there. I decided that if I go there, I
would start in early November. Each
course segment is one month long, and there are ten levels in the Arabic course. Then, last week I asked my sister-in-law to
take me to a children’s bookstore to buy some Arabic alphabet flashcards. She patiently worked with me on how to make all the
sounds for each letter, and I began to memorize them. After two days, I could recite the 28 letters
in the Arabic alphabet in order, and write them as well. On day 3, I studied a book I have called Easy
Arabic Script, and learned how the letters “join up” when written, much like
cursive writing. By the next day, I
could sound out and read words in the newspaper. By day 4, I was reading road signs and
advertisements when we were in the car. I
can even text in Arabic now! It is the most
amazing feeling and the only thing I can compare it to would be when my own
girls were just learning to read, and how excited they would become when they sounded out a new word and realized
they could actually read! It’s as if a
whole new world has opened up for me. I
am giddy with excitement, and so determined to learn and eventually master this
language. The next step is to build my vocabulary
and to have confidence when trying to speak to others in Arabic.
Gaining my bearings in Amman took a little time for me, but
I am finally becoming more familiar with the routes we take to get to most of
the places we go. There are really just
three or four main arterial roads, and lots of crowded, secret side streets and
back roads off of them. Those are the
roads I am less familiar with, but I generally have an idea how to get around
town now. Esam keeps telling me that
once I drive, it will all make sense to me.
Yesterday, my daughter wanted to be dropped off somewhere for a few
hours, and I volunteered to drive her.
It was on a Friday, which is the first day of the weekend here, so the
streets were less busy than usual and it was a good day for me to venture out
on the streets of Amman. It was easy,
and I realized that even had it been a little more crowded and chaotic on the
streets, I would have easily been able to navigate my way and hold my ground
against reckless, feckless and inconsiderate drivers. After I dropped my daughter off, I realized
that I could take advantage of the lax enforcement of the speed limit, so I gleefully pressed
on the gas and zipped up the hill home, EVEN changing lanes without
signaling. Scandalous, I know. It felt good to be behind the wheel again,
and I have to admit, the hidden speed demon in me could get used to these
relaxed rules. It's a good thing I was only in
a 4-cylinder car.
On the political front, I’ve been watching the news about
the U.S. Presidential Campaign as well as trying to follow the local and
regional news here. Without going into
too many details about my thoughts and opinions about specifics, I want to express how
strange it feels to be living so far from home during an election year. Four years ago, I was following every
sound-byte, every debate, every detail of the election. Now, it is with some detachment and a sense of disconnect that I read
the headlines and opinion polls of the 2012 race. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not as
optimistic about the outcome of the next four years or of the state of the
union in general, or if it’s because I am focusing more of my energies on
trying to understand the political climate here in this region where I am now
living. The atrocities in Syria are
unrelenting and agonizing to witness. Palestine
and Israel are no closer to a peaceful solution. The Iranian government is
hurting its own people and flexing its muscles on the world stage, meanwhile Jordan has its own struggles, economical, social and political. It is very surreal to see life go on right
before one's eyes in the midst of such tragedy.
Sadly, life has no choice but to move forward: people must still work to provide for their
families, young people must still strive for a better future by seeking a solid
education, and parents must still nurture and train their young children and
continue to give them hope for a brighter future. And throughout it all, each must still seek the joy in the small things in life.
When I look around, I see so much beauty, and so much to be grateful
for. It’s easy to get caught up in the mundane, in the minute details and the negative aspects of life, and I do this more often than I feel
comfortable admitting. Yet I keep
pondering how I can make some small difference, have some positive impact on
humanity, as I eventually seek out a new career here in Amman. The world is in turmoil and apathy
abounds. Surely there is something I can
do.
Sabah
al-khayr, Amman, and Goodnight Seattle!
~M.
