Family Ties

My parents are in their early to mid-seventies, and have been married 49 years!  They moved to the Pacific Northwest, to Washington, just before I was born.  The home they live in now is the same one in which they raised my four older siblings and me since the year I was born.  No matter where I’ve moved since I was 18 and left their nest, my childhood home has always been a safe haven, an anchor and a comfort, chock full of childhood memories.  It is not the home itself that provides that sense of security for me; full credit goes to my parents for having given me that stability. 

Next January, my parents celebrate their Golden Anniversary.  To me, that is symbolic of so many things about them.  They say older people are living in their “Golden Years.”  My parents have definitely been an example of that.  They continually work to improve their health, their home, themselves as individuals, their marriage, and most importantly, their faith in God as the years have gone by.  I have seen their example, and how they have increased the “value” in their lives.  They are having more fun together, are more tightly knit, and more relaxed than ever before.   They are golden.  They shine, and reflect their goodness onto others in their lives. 

A few weeks ago, my dad said, “We need to spend as much time together as possible, before you move!”  These are my sentiments exactly.   Just a few days ago, my dad called me and surprised me with his spontaneity; he asked if I’d like to join him and my mother for a sunny Sunday drive, and said we’d decide on the destination once we got on the road (if you know my dad at all, you know this is very uncharacteristic behavior for him!).  So, they came to pick me up and we had a nice drive to an historic port town, aptly named “Port Townsend.”  The scenic drive was through the beautiful peninsula region of Washington State, and we chatted and listened to some very early blues along the way.  After we arrived, my dad patiently waited and tagged along as my mother and I browsed in a few boutiques and galleries.  We finished up the day by sharing some amazing Thai food and then headed back home, having great conversation all the way.  I am grateful for this time spent with them, and look forward to fitting in several more memorable days with them before I leave in August. 

My parents kayaking on Lake Washington in Seattle

My dad vacationing in Hawaii in 2009

My mom vacationing in Hawaii in 2009

Moving so far away from my parents at this later stage in their lives is going to be very difficult for me to do.  While both of my parents are in good health and still active, I worry that I won’t be close by to help them should the need arise, or just to lighten their load as they get older and maintaining their home becomes more difficult.  As often as possible, I stop by to visit with my parents, usually once a week at a 






minimum, and when I can’t do that, I 
always try to call them to see how they are doing.  My parents seem to look forward to our time together, and enjoy hearing what’s going on in my life and that of my family.  I know they feel this way about all of their children and grandchildren, and always welcome these visits.  As they get older, I imagine this contact will only become more precious to them, and I feel guilty that I will not be around to pay them visits or to be available for them as often as I, or they, would like.   I am going to miss their loving guidance, unconditional love and support, and most of all, their hugs and kisses.  

While my father is pretty tech-savvy and uses e-mail, Skype and Facetime, my mother is still a bit intimidated by computers and other high-tech devices.  I will have to rely on my dad to teach her to use these tools so that if he is out, she can answer my calls!  Fortunately, I’ll be able to call anywhere in the U.S. at no charge from our cell phone plan in Amman, and can reach her on their home telephone line.  I imagine my parents and I will have a scheduled, routine phone call planned shortly after my move there, and I look forward to it!

When I first told my parents about my revised move date, my mother comforted me by reminding me that she, too, moved away from her parents when she married my father who was in the military, and he from his.  They moved all over the U.S. and to Panama before settling in Washington State.  My mother’s parents lived in California, and I remember the weekly phone calls my mom and grandparents would share, and how my mom looked so forward to them, and always had a spring in her step after talking to her parents.  Most summers, she would get a two-week vacation from her role as “Mom” when she would go to visit her family in California, and she always came back home rejuvenated and happy, with wonderful stories to share.  I’m sure those trips sustained her.  Now, when I come back “home” to see my family and friends in Washington, I will get a sense of what she must have felt.   

No matter how old we are, I think we miss our parents.  Knowing I will only be a 24-hour journey away in case of an emergency provides some comfort, but being unable to just stop over unannounced for a short visit makes me feel so sad.  The one thing that helps ease that sadness is looking forward to having my parents make the long journey to see us in Amman, Jordan, and being able to show them around my new “home.”  After all, this is the only way they'll get to see Ellie, their favorite "grand-dogger."  Inshallah, they will both remain in good health so I can accompany them on the way there, and my husband’s family can finally meet these two amazing individuals that I am lucky enough to call “Mom & Dad.”  

My dad & my dog, Ellie, in 2011

        Goodnight, Seattle, and     
       Sabaah al-Khayr, Amman!  

~M.

My mom put a Santa hat on my poor dog, Ellie.  Dec. 2011